


Lanchestuck

by Renegade_Saint



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Gen, Launch Day, Pesterlog, SBURB
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-08
Updated: 2015-02-13
Packaged: 2018-03-06 17:20:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,029
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3142478
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Renegade_Saint/pseuds/Renegade_Saint
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A teen his friends and a Game of The Year and Armageddon</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Act 1: Day of the Launch

It a rainy October morning in Chicago and a young man is in his bed room

what is his name

Adam Fuckass

HELL NO 1st is good but not the last one

Adam Lucktean 

That good

Your name is Adam you are a nerd and an otaku at hart and a weapon lover. Your also a huge gamer and today just so happens to be the day that the Game of The Year finally comes out of the beta Sburb you sighed up for it but you didn't get it but that's alright you per-ordered that bitch so hell yeah it comes straight to your door thank to Gamestop.

Adam check out your room.

Your room is kinda plain but you tried to make it more interesting by putting some gaming posters you don't care about up. You also have a TV and a game system you also have a laptop oh looks like one of your friend is Pestering you.

Adam answer friend  
________________________________________________________________________  
renegadeSaint answard  
sicklyCultist

RS: -)--- Hay man whats up  
SC: Nothing really just seeing if you got Sburb yet.  
RS: -)--- No I was wandering around in my room looking at some of my posters  
SC: You mean those ones you shrink wrap and preserve?  
RS: -)--- No the ones I put up in my room man I dont bring thous out unless im moving  
SC: Witch is not vary often because you uncle is a crazy hermit.  
RS: -)--- Dude I tell you way to much   
SC: Indeed.

sicklyCultist seased pestering renegadeSaint  
_______________________________________________________________________  
Now back to what you where doing you decide to go check out the mail but your Uncle Bob might attack you you don't know why he trains you and it gets really annoying having to be on guard 24/7

Adam pick up weapon

You pick up your Falchion Replica you got this for your birthday from your uncle he can be cool sometime but you may need somethings else just in case you need to make a quick escape 

Adam pick up homemade Smoke booms

You can't seam to pick them up...... Oh now you remember your modes is a strange one but it helps you get creative

Adam wright Fanfic about smoke booms

-)--- "Oh booms made of smoke" Jarico said "May you help me in my time of need"

The smock booms are now captchaloged yes your modus is kinda stupid but it helps you in your writing you. Now go out in the hallway

You leave your room and are now in the hallway 

Your Uncle keep ancient Babylonian artifacts around the house some ore fake and some are real you some times wander if your Uncle stole some of the real ones and that why you live like a hermit with your uncle you never knew your parents and truly nerved cared because your he never told you about them.

Adam observe Babylonian artifacts 

Some of thetas artifact are over a million years old and made of sold gold you don't know why you guys just sell them and makes some money. You decide to captchaloged one never know when your going to need to run away or get hungry for pizza.

-)--- "And as he saw the riches of Babylon the thief know that he would be no longer hungry"

The artifact is now in your deck continue to the mail box 

As you ascend deeper down the rabbit hole you feel a strange present like your being watched. Bah it not like the first time you got that felling and besides your almost 

Adam Enter the living room 

Your living room is plan all it has is a couch, a t.v, and a table you have a small kitchen over in the corner you manly eat dinner in your room because of fear your uncle craziness will rub off on you. Wait on the table you see a case with what looks like 4 blue square of different sizes and a triangle like a small house is it could be.

Adam get a closer look to conform your suspicions 

Your suspicion where right it is Sburb all right all you have to do is captchalog it and run towards your room before you get jumped

Adam captchalog Sburb than run to your room

-)---"Oh grate...." Before you can finish writing a wooden staff hit you in the face and sent you flying towards the wall. You know full wear who that is 

Adam prepare for STRAFE

You jump out of the wall towards your Uncle with your blade held high but Uncle side step and smacked you with his stick and smacks you into the ground. As you strgal to get up kicks you in the wall again. You are starting to seance. Before you could finish your thought you fell the staff thirsted into your gut. Maybe you should start to act instead of think yeah that will OH GOD PUNCHED IN THE FACE. Wow uncle is not letting up today so just use the smock booms 

As you throw your booms and the room gets covered in smock and uncle lose track of you. You have no time to write fanfic about Sburb so you just decide to take the money and run and quickly to your room and fast.

As you make your way towards your room you feel like you'll never see this please again. But you convince your self that that bullshit and head into your room.

Ah back in your room now ....Oh it appeaser all your friends are on best see if they got the game?  
__________________________________________________________________________________________  
renegadeSaint began pestering  
sicklyCultist

RS: -)--- Alright man I finally got it it was a pain in the ass to get to  
SC: Kicked your ass again.   
RS: -)--- Yah I'm going to nercher my wounds before we play and see if the gang got the game as well  
SC: Ok message me when your ready   
renegadeSaint stopped pestering sicklyCultist  
___________________________________________________________________________________________  
renegadeSaint began pestering  
beatusLuce

RS: -)--- Hay sunshine you get the game yet  
BL: : D Yes iv been waiting all day to play Adam!  
RS: -)--- Wow someones hyper this morning   
RS: -)--- Any way I'll call you when where ready  
BL: : ) Sher ill pull up a walk through and send you the link later  
beatusLuce stopped pestering renegadeSaint  
____________________________________________________________________________________________  
renegadeSaint began pestering  
victorianVagabond  
RS: -)--- Hay coues you get Sburb yet  
VV: Yes I have and the do not call me coues cousin.  
RS: -)--- Dame you still got that stick up your ass miss VV  
VV: Yes someone in this crazed family has to.  
RS: -)--- At least you dont live with uncle and get the SHIT BEAT OUT OF YOU EVERY NOW AND AGAIN WITH A STICK OR STAFF OR WHAT EVER THE HELL ITS CALLED  
VV: Quarterstaff.  
RS: -)--- AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH   
renegadeSaint banned victorianVagabond  
renegadeSaint un-banned victorianVagabond   
RS: -)--- Sorry  
renegadeSaint stopped pestering victorianVagabond  
_____________________________________________________________________________________________  
renegadeSaint  began pestering  
blackWinter  
BW: Greetings Comrade  
RS: -)--- How do you always say that before any of us even if we are the ones pestering you  
BW: Because i'm Russian  
RS: -)--- Ok did you get Sburb  
BW: Da  
RS: -)--- Ok ill contact you when where ready  
renegadeSaint stopped pestering blackWinter  
______________________________________________________________________________________________  
renegadeSaint began pestering  
hellbredHero  
RS: -)--- Sup hellbred  
HH: ----0 Renegade.  
RS: -)--- So Sburb yes or no   
HH: ----0 Yah.  
HH: ----0 Your still iffy with this long dissent relationship with me and your cousin?  
RS: -)--- Listen hellbred if I hear you brake her heart or harm her in any way I WILL find you and CUT YOUR HEAD OFF  
RS: -)--- UNDERSTAND  
HH: ----0 Yah brother no worry.  
renegadeSaint stopped pestering hellbredHero  
_______________________________________________________________________________________________  
renegadeSaint began pestering  
fatedLancer  
RS: -)--- Lancer how the crazey Irish woman I ever known  
FL: I'm +#e only Irish women you know  
RS: -)--- Yah but now the million dollar question do you have Sburb  
FL: YES +#is is going to be epic Iv read all the reviews and besides +#at s#i+ gamebro  
RS: -)--- I believe we can all agree that those assholes are idets any way ill message you when where ready  
FL: Kay  
renegadeSaint stopped pestering fatedLancer  
_______________________________________________________________________________________________  
renegadeSaint began pestering  
revalationsDraco  
RS: -)--- And hows the na of our party  
RD: Good just got SbLIrb yoLI.  
RS: -)--- Same was actually was going to ask you the same question  
RD: What?  
RS: -)--- If you got Sburb  
RD: I jLIst told yoLI I did  
RS: -)--- *Face palms*  
RD: DLIde I was joking   
RS: L..Look ill message you when wear ready  
RD: Ok  
renegadeSaint pestering revalationsDraco  
_______________________________________________________________________________________________  
Ok you have confirmed that your friends have Sburb now just nurture your wounds and message your friends in a few minuets this will be epic

Lanchestuck

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Adam's Bio: http://lightbearer97.deviantart.com/art/Homestuck-Oc-Human-489514629


	2. Act 2 Ch 1: The Lord's Cultist

Ah crap it looks like Adam is to wounded to do any thing right now hay you wanna see his friends until he starts the game? What to thous how don't well touth shit im the author so we do what I want. 

We open to a 2 story house in a culdasac and in side one of the room is this Badass metal dude how may or may not be part of a cult what is this young mans name.

Enter Name 

Reid Cultfucker

Is this going to be a running them because this may get annoying so change it

Reid Goodman

Ya that will work. Your name is Read and you are a metal head you like all types of it even some hair but only when it makes fun of its self. You are also into Creepypasta lore and cult like activity but you are also a nerd so ya your into comics and video games as well and you got Spurb along with the rest of your online friends. 

Read Exsamen Room

Your room is wall to wall band poster of your favorite, you also have a Desktop and a TV, you also have a closet but you dont have closes in their. What you want to see whats in thair well to bad its a secret.

Read SHOW US WHATS IN THE CLOSET 

Hell no! You know what lets drop this or you may have to switch to a different Characters but.. Oh wow look at the time its time for your. What now your interested in this guy how aboute a deal you get to see the ritual and he dosent show you the closet.

Read do the Vinum Autem Sabbati

Read goes under his bed and pulls out a Bong and a bag full of weed and stars smoking it like some mother fucker in some god dame you know what you are yah no fuck dame your high like all the world.

Ok your not that type of high actual the only notisbal your get a bit more friendly and open but hay your still high and this fucking music is your jam... you will never say that agean you hat rap and pop actually,.. wait what are we talking about... I dont remember but hay on of your friends is pestering you.  
___________________________________________________________________________________  
sicklyCultist [SC] answard   
beatusLuce [BL]

BL: :D Hi Read hows our favoret metal head  
SC: It seams you have also fallen on the ban wagon of this? Whats it called?  
BL: :P Quirk silly  
SC: Yes that you know what never mind so what do you want?   
BL: :O Oh right you exsided about Spurb   
SC: Yes I am going to go and get it from my Sis later.  
BL: :D AWESOME!  
SC: Not awesome she is going to keep it from me until I do something for her.  
SC: I may have to steal it from her.  
BL: :? Hum  
SC: She'll make me do something "Active'' or "Get me out of the house".  
BL: :) Whats wrong with that  
SC: Everything.  
BL: :S Oh right your weird 

BL ceased pestering SC  
_________________________________________________________________________  
Well that was a... enlighten conversation but now its time to go get and or steal it what ever comes 1st...... Yah your still high but get your weapons seince time waits for no man go get Spurb because of reasons the main being is you want to play the game

Read retrieve Weapons 

You pick up your Replica Obsidian ritual daggers this thing cool but not as cool as your most prized posetion

Read get your favoret game

You capturlog Postal 2. This game is fucking awesome you can do gust about any thing you know what 

Read play Postal until your sober 

After an hour of plying you are now sober its time to go get your game from your.... Oh one of your friends is online lets see if he got the game  
_____________________________________________________________________________________  
sicklyCultist [SC]  
Has began pestering renegadeSaint [RS]

RS: -)--- Hay man whats up  
SC: Nothing really just seeing if you got Sburb yet.  
RS: -)--- No I was wandering around in my room looking at some of my posters  
SC: You mean those ones you shrink wrap and preserve?  
RS: -)--- No the ones I put up in my room man I dont bring thous out unless im moving  
SC: Witch is not vary often because you uncle is a crazy hermit.  
RS: -)--- Dude I tell you way to much   
SC: Indeed.

SC ceased pestering RS  
___________________________________________________________________________  
Read go down states to get your copy

As you desind deep in the rabbit hole you fell if this has happen before. How cares just go get your game

Your living room is covered in posters of romantic books and shit moves. Your sis is a strange chick. Oh her riffle is over their in the corner you dont know why she has one you never seen her use it you don't know why. You dont see the game any whear or your sis so you add 2 and 2 together thinking she took the game oh whel 

Read Sherch for your Sis

Where

Read sherch for your sis in the Basement

You head down into your basement its just a basement noughting new hear what you think that our charter has like pentagrams and goat heads and

BAHHHHHHHH!

Oh right this is also whear you and sis keep your pet goat Morty. Hay Morty

BAHHHH. 

Read: Don't worry buddy I'll feed you later.

Alright now

BANG!!

That sounded like a gun shot and you think you know where its coming.

Read head up stairs 

You see one that your wall is creaked and the riffle is missing yeah your supition was right and itr seams that it fifer bing bag rounds How is that posibal. Whal now you now that she is aremed and probaly dangrius at leas you have your daggers what thay will help with.

Read...

Befor the comand was given you wher shot with a bing bag from no whear 

Read hid behind cover

Shit she is actually a good marksman so think of a plain.

!

You draw your weapons and rush twords the shot supenting until you see her and the game

Read STRIFE

You jump towerds her ready to stab but she bloks with the but of the gun and sends you flying with the butt suprisingly you land on your feet. No wander thay call you the cat man. She thain aim at you agean and fires. But you slice at it it was futal and brock on of your daggers at least you dident and thain you relized thies things are not sharp at all. Shit looks like your going to have to do a last dich efort you throw your dagger at her and rush to get the game 

Read:Yes got it.

And with the sacrfice of your dagers you manage to get te game thay will be missed but hay. Now 

Read RUN FOR IT 

Sis maniged to get a buzer beater on the way up but know your safe and you have the game. 

Read pester your friends to see if they have the game  
____________________________________________________________________________________________  
renegadeSaint [RS]   
Has began pestering sicklyCultist [SC]

RS: -)--- Alright man I finally got it it was a pain in the ass to get to  
SC: Kicked your ass again.   
RS: -)--- Yah I'm going to nercher my wounds before we play and see if the gang got the game as well  
SC: Ok message me when your ready

RS stopped pestering SC  
_____________________________________________________________________________________________  
sicklyCultist [SC]  
Has began pestering beatusLuce [BL]  
SC: Alright I got the game what about you?  
BL: :( Yah but   
SC: But what  
BL: :( I got into a agumant to get and said some mean thing to get it  
SC: Yah strife's with your care tacker is always thoufe   
BL: :O STRIFE no never I wouldent do that  
SC: BL calm down I dident know  
BL: :( Sorry   
BL: :) But Adam said he'll contact us when he's ready  
BL: M'kay

SC ceased pestering BL   
______________________________________________________________________________________________  
sicklyCultist [SC]  
Has began pestering victorianVagabond [VV]   
SC: Hay VV  
VV: Ah Goodman what do I owe this honer   
SC: Did you get Spurb?  
VV: Yes  
SC: Alright Adam will contact us when wher ready

SC ceased pestering VV  
______________________________________________________________________________________________  
sicklyCultist [SC]  
Has began pestering blackWinter [BW]  
BW: Greetings Comrade  
SC: And to you as wheal.   
SC: So Spurb yes or no.  
BW: Da  
SC: Alright you know the plain  
BW: Do you think me a foul   
BW: I know we wait for Adam to heal   
SC: Ok see yah

SC ceased pestering BW  
________________________________________________________________________________________________  
sicklyCultist [SC]  
Has began pestering hellbredHero [HH]  
SC: ----0 Hay HH  
HH: Hay Cultist whats up brother  
SC: Nouthing new   
HH: ----0 So Spurb  
SC: Yes you got it  
HH: ----0 No I got to go get it  
SC: Alright go and get  
HH: ----0 Kay see yah brouther

SC ceased pestering HH  
________________________________________________________________________________________________  
sicklyCultist [SC]  
Has began pestering fatedLancer [FL]  
FL: Yo  
SC: And how are you FL  
FL: No+ muc# jus+ wai+ing for every one ge+ ready  
SC: So you have it  
FL: Yup  
SC: Thats all I want to know

SC ceased pesterin FL  
_________________________________________________________________________________________________  
sicklyCultist [SC]  
Has began pestering revalationsDraco [RD]  
SC: RD you thair   
SC: RD   
RD is ideal  
SC: God dame slow computer  
SC: Contact me when yo get this

SC ceased pesterin RD  
________________________________________________________________________________________________  
Whale all you need to do is wait for the outhers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ch 2 And the start of Act 2 we will meet all the kids and get into the meadum in this Act and Act 3 will get weird. Hope you enjoy the introduction of the Lord
> 
> (Note I suck at spelling and Flamers Will be sacrificed to what ever god will accept)


End file.
